ERASE ME.

Because of the force feed, i'm starting abc over tomorrow,
along with a whole group of people, so it'll help out alot.
I'll bring water with me 24/7 from now on or something.
So, no more bloody noses, bloody vomit, passing out, and weakness.
....lol, I can dream... right? Whatever.
I fucking hate how much they made me eat.
Over 3000 calories, for sure.
I wanna slit my wrists and drown in my own blood.
That sounds better.

FORCE FED

Yeah, they force fed me.
I'm not even joking.
I don't even know what I ate.

YOU'RE HOME ALREADY?

Unfortunately, I came home early because I passed out and threw up blood.
My girlfriend, who was with me during school, tried to help me to the office,
and a teacher got pissed because she tried to fucking HELP ME.
He said, "no, you're lying." ......I hate him. I really do.
I have absolutely no clue why I threw up blood, but I know passed out from hunger.
I'm not scared. I'm not upset. I'm glad to be home,
but I can barely stay awake, even though the hunger pains are still here.
They're giving me soup. I'm going to have to eat it, so I will,
but soup will be the only thing i've had/i'm going to have today.
I weighed in today at 97.3.

...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

So, I passed out after a shower.
I guess with having nothing yesterday and two apples today,
I needed more.
Dinner will be chicken pot pie.
That'll end me at 524 cals,
but my output is higher since I have ballet practice.
It's going to be okay.

DAY 1 ABC

Day one; 500 or less.

Breakfast - Apple.
Lunch - Apple.
Dinner - Apple.

I'm feeling kind of weak, but all is well.
I weighed myself this morning in at 97.5.
I think I can do this.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I don't know what i'm going to do.
This is terrible.
I want to fly. I want to fly away, the air being my wings.
I'm so heavy...
i'm a fat ballerina.

LONG TIME NO BLOG.

So, Christmas is coming up.
Finals are Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
I'm getting fatter and fatter...
oh, holidays.
I'm finding it harder and harder to stay awake anymore.
I love the feeling of just being asleep.
My dreams are beautiful...
my life is not.
I want to die...
to just dream forever.
I want to live in my dreams.
I feel safer there...
I really do.